Child psychotherapist
When I embarked on my doctoral research in 2012, I quickly became aware of the potential dangers of smart technologies for young people. I began to speak publicly about the potential impact of these devices on their mental health and wellbeing.
Back then, we were trying to get our heads around platforms like Facebook and YouTube, novelty spaces pitched as platforms to connect with friends we had not seen in years or keep in touch with ones who lived in faraway places. We were impressed by what these technologies could do. For example, we no longer had to buy hundreds of CDs — instead, we could store our music in our pockets.
Little did we know then what the future evolutions of the technological world had in store.
We have since realised the darker aspects of these technologies. Whether it is cyberbullying, online grooming, unrestricted access to pornography or being exposed to algorithms that hijack our attention and use our data to influence us, the discourse around the dangers of smartphone use is ubiquitous.
When I started speaking about this topic 13 years ago, I was in the minority. I was described as a killjoy who spread speculative hysteria about these new ‘fun’ technologies. Some considered me a ‘doom merchant,’ and I suffered stern opposition from some in the pro-tech community.
The worldwide increase in mental health problems among young people runs parallel to the rise of smart technologies. Research published in 2019 by the American Psychological Association found that from 2005 to 2017, the prevalence of major depression increased by 52% among adolescents aged 12 to 17 and by 63% among young adults aged 18 to 25. Additionally, there was a 71% increase in young adults experiencing severe psychological distress during the same period.
In Britain, a new study conducted by Dr Lee Hudson at UCL found that the number of children admitted to acute hospital wards due to serious concerns over their mental health has increased by 65% in a decade, with a particularly alarming surge in girls who have self-harmed. In Ireland, a 2024 study by Mary Cannon, professor, and Niamh Dooley in conjunction with the Royal College of Surgeons reported that more than a quarter of secondary-school adolescents described their mental health as “bad” or “very bad” in 2021.
While I acknowledge the available research does not prove ‘causation’ between smartphone ownership and mental health problems, there is a persuasive argument for a ‘correlation’ between these two variables.
We are unlikely to find definitive evidence, as ethics committees would not allow children to be exposed to unfettered online access in order to compare their mental wellbeing to those of children without interaction with online technologies. However, we know that those who have grown up in a time when smartphone usage is a generation that sleeps less, socialise less and worries more than any previous generation.
Growing awareness
The public is beginning to recognise the inherent dangers of giving children unfettered online access. Countries like Australia are instituting bans on smartphone ownership for children under 16. In Ireland, the government is exploring the use of smartphone pouches in secondary schools. Many primary schools create voluntary codes to delay smartphone ownership until children attend secondary school.
However, last week, research commissioned by Eir revealed that children in Ireland are accessing their first smartphones at the average age of nine, more than three years earlier than their parents’ preferred age of 12 and 13. This is a deeply disappointing result. Despite the widespread discourse around the need to delay smartphone ownership, the age at which children acquire smartphones is steadily decreasing.
I struggle to understand this phenomenon. When I give lectures on this topic in primary and secondary schools, almost all parents I meet talk about how smartphones affect their children’s lives and could potentially impact them.
The Eir study surveyed 522 parents across the country and found that 42% provide their children with a phone earlier than they would like, primarily due to safety concerns. But what are the safety concerns for a nine-year-old? We are seeing the first cohort of young people who did not grow up on the street, road, or green. So, why are there such concerns about their safety? It is unlikely that nine-year-olds spend so much time away from their parents that they need a smartphone to stay in contact with them. Also, if safety concerns were the reason for phone ownership, a ‘dumb phone’ would allow them to call and text their parents.
Smartphone capabilities are not essential for emergency contact purposes.
The Eir research highlighted that 71% of parents believe their child can self-manage online activity, and 80% thought their child would share negative experiences with them. Yet, according to a recent Cybersafe Kids report, 77% of eight- to 12-year-olds say their parents cannot see what they are doing online, and 55% would not tell a parent if they encounter harmful content. These findings align with a child’s cognitive, social, and emotional development.
Nine-year-olds are typically at a stage where their self-regulation skills are improving but not fully developed. When it comes to ‘cognitive self-regulation,’ they are not advanced enough to manage unfettered smartphone access. They can focus on simple tasks for short periods, especially if they find them engaging, but they struggle with distractions, particularly with less preferred activities. They can also plan and organise simple tasks but need significant guidance and support to follow through on complex projects.
A typical nine-year-old can think through solutions and consider consequences to simple dilemmas, but impulsivity is often still an issue. They are only beginning to recognise and articulate their emotions and have few strategies for coping with difficult emotions. Usually, they need adult help to manage strong feelings. While they might be beginning to show increased empathy and consider others’ perspectives, their ability to regulate their responses in social settings varies. They are typically not mature enough for unsupervised online social contact.
Nine-year-olds understand the importance of rules and consequences but are only likely to adhere to them in structured environments.
Children at this age are highly impressionable and learn a lot from observing adults and peers, so positive role models can significantly enhance their self-regulatory abilities. Negative role models, such as online influencers who gain traction with unregulated or extreme actions/reactions, can also shape what young children learn about self-regulation.
Even if some nine-year-olds have high self-regulation, they still rely on adults for guidance, reinforcement, and support when managing challenging emotions or behaviours. The assumption that they are old enough to inhabit the online world unsupported is inaccurate, naive and potentially dangerous.
Overestimating ability
It’s not unusual for parents to overestimate their children’s abilities. However, when 71% of parents in the Eir survey believe their nine-year-old child can safely self-manage online, the extent of this overestimation is deeply concerning. Throughout my career, I have met many children, many deemed ‘gifted’, ‘articulate’, and ‘emotionally mature.’ But I have yet to meet a nine-year-old who can safely self-manage their online activity.
I understand the peer pressure and pester power involved in being ground down to buy your child a smartphone so they are not socially disenfranchised among their peers. However, the cost-benefit analysis favours holding off and risking the social consequences. If you are considering buying a smartphone for your nine-year-old, I plead with you to reconsider.
The online world is a ‘Village of Desire,’ created to give people what they want, not what they need.
The town planners of this ‘Village’ have no ethical obligation to protect your child in that space. The responsibility for online safety lies in the hands of the user. Regulating one’s online behaviour requires a degree of social, emotional, and cognitive savvy that nine-year-olds cannot and do not possess.
Parents often ask me, ‘What is the right age to get a child a smartphone?’ They are sometimes frustrated when I answer, ‘It depends on the child.’ I avoid giving a definitive answer because the decision is much more about a child’s maturity than their chronological age. However, I also believe that even the most mature children should not own a smartphone before 12 or 13 years of age. So, while there is no ‘right age’ to buy your child a smartphone, there are wrong ages, and nine-year-olds fall into this category.
If you have already given your child a smartphone and are wondering how best to manage their relationship with it, I would advise looking up websites like Cybersafe Kids or Webwise for resources to help you with this perplexing task.
- Colman is giving a free webinar on Wednesday, January 29. See: exa.mn/Healthy-Online-Habits
